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Archive for an attempt
Busy as a bee… again.
Again, no time to blog. It’s been almost two weeks since I came back to the seminary after our summer break. From that moment ’til I’ve decided to pen this post, I haven’t seen the dashboard of my blog. Really busy… not acting like busy bodies!
Reminds me of my first year in the seminary when I’m too preoccupied with the seminary schedule, with my chores and work, not to mention my demanding scholastic requirements. That was three years ago.
Honestly, I’m liking the new set-up. I’m lovin’ my schedule, my new tasks, thesis writing and the activities that we are to do on the coming months [- and of course, that special event on July... :)]
Busy days… expect less post… but I’ll surely won’t miss pausing - scribbling my thoughts!
God bless!
True Love Waits Waits Waits…
Lunch time, I was browsing through the slides presented by Fr. Stephen Cuyos, MSC during the FaithCasting seminar he gave in the JP2 Catechetics and Youth Ministry Conference in DBTI Makati two weeks ago. Got stuck with one of the slides presenting the True Love Waits portal. I didn’t hesitate to pay a visit and realized how worthwhile it is. With a few minutes of stay I gained much insight and inspiration which moved me to write this post. Hay…
Love, I believe, is one of the most used and abused word. Much definitions are attributed to it. Thus, we are left with a crowded vista of love. We are as if looking through the woods, uncertain of what is before our eyes. Instead of seeing the big picture, stunning dazzle of light, we see glimpses, blinding flashes and streaks of that which is bright. What is love? How do we define love? Where do we find real love?
All I know is Deus caritas est - God is LOVE. Looking for love? See God. But one doesn’t need to look far for EMMANUEL - He is with US. He is in the midst of our relationships, He lives within our hearts. He is just there, waiting, patiently, faithfully, unconditionally - waiting… Waiting to be heard, to be seen, to be recognized.
I am a witness to HIS unfailing love. I appreciate much the Eucharist, I love being in the confessional. My God offers his life for me, shuns away all my short comings no matter how grave they may be. I often deviate from Him, deny Him, forget Him, leave Him, doubt His WORD, His call, His presence. Yet He is still there, waiting… just there, smiling, waiting for me to come and embrace Him and be enveloped once more by His exceeding grace.
God who created all of us is LOVE. We sprung out of love. We search for love in places away from ourselves; thus, we find the love that this world know rather than the love that is within us - the true love that would never stop waiting waiting waiting…
Looking for true love? Look within, see the light, clarify your path, listen to your heart whenever you are ready to do so… LOVE’s just there… waiting.
via et veritas et vita
The lyrics of the song Pass it on rings in my mind. “It only takes a spark, to get the fire going…” The Gospel today seems apt and timely. Darkness has been the attribution given to what we are undergoing as a nation. This dim vista is brought about by the confusion that’s been lingering around. This is where the question of truth, the question of life lies.
The news across the nation, for the past few months, contain these questions. We face the unending dilemma: “who’s telling the truth.” We are threatened by the seemingly lacking supply of food. And so the eternal litany of problems begin to fill our days - again, and again, and again. Overpopulation, corruption, destabilization, pollution, education et al - to many to mention. In darkness, we are indeed.
“…a spark, to get the fire going.” For F. Sionil Jose, one of our National Artist for Literature, that spark would ignite one bloody revolution that would eradicate the ongoing culture of unlove for our nation, for our countrymen. A revolution against self-exultation, against that love that knows no suffering (not quoted, my personal interpretation).
Well, for me, let that fire be love. “I am the way and the truth and the life (Jn 14:6, NIV).” When Jesus said that He is via et veritas et vita, I can’t but remember His suffering and death on the cross - the profession of His love. Thus, made me think, love is the way, the truth, the life.
And so the song goes on, ” That’s how it is with God’s love,/ Once you’ve experienced it, you spread His love to everyone;/ You want to pass it on.” Amid this anxiety and despair that we are in, Jesus reminds us that the sole solution to these problems is LOVE. If we only choose to love our neighbor, to walk the extra mile for them, to say the truth, to respect their rights, to eat half rice, to begin to think of our brothers and sisters (not only our relatives and friends but most importantly those who are set aside by the society), and to start suffering for them - I believe, this would get the fire going.
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Ready to tell the truth to the nation? This PR Agency in the Philippines might help you.
Trying-out WP2.5
Yey! This blog is already running on Wordpress 2.5. I thought that the migration process would be as painful as porting subtleoasis (this blog) from Blogger to Wordpress but it was not. Just a click-of-a-button did the job. Anyway, I’m writing this post to try-out the picture gallery feature. I need to run this for the blog of the seminary which is long overdue. 
Anyway, here it is.
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- test1
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- test2
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- test3
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- test5
Hope this works… 
cold days.
I have colds. Caught it two days ago. Maybe due to the sudden chill in the weather. The same situation is true for my blog. Not much action in here for the past week. It’s not that I’m quitting blogging. Nope. Nor my zest to write has ebbed. No. It’s just that the time to pause and rekindle my thoughts hasn’t gone by ’til this very moment.
Allow me to just write through the things that crowd my consciousness as I juggle keyboard and tissue on my hands.
I was very upset two nights ago. The unexpected happened. My laptop’s system crushed. *poof* After a series of reboots the screen went nil. No movement whatsoever save for the exhaust fan that sounded like a familiar requiem hymn to my ears. It happened when I was in the middle of finishing an important paper to be submitted the next day. It gave up when I needed it most.
But everything has to move on. I can’t just dwell upon and mourn over, the whole time, something I lost. Why not be grateful for the many someones around me?
This cold days has brought much warmth to me. Blessings abound. And these parcels from Kuya were hand carried and personally delivered to me by angels - the very persons I’m spending my life with. I feel truly blessed. Love spurs within me (take this also as an allusion to the recently concluded Heart’s Day *smile*). Beyond my sick facade lies a vibrant soul. Aside from the medication I take, this is what’s making me rise up from my bed. This is the fuel I’m burning for the things I’ve done so far.
Reminds me of Lent. Reminds me of Jesus Himself - He who never gave up the Cross, His Cross, the Cross where His battered body would be pierced and fastened. He never gave up. Never did He surrendered. All because of His immense, unconditional and unfailing LOVE.
My suffering is but a speck compared to His. It’s so banal and little compared to the tribulations of so many unnamed men and women who still chose to live and to love in spite of their cruel state. I hope I could keep-up with them.
moving
Yes. You are right. The title of this post says it all. Within the next few weeks we are moving to our new home - rather, host. Thanks to our friend, JM, who willingly endowed us with a portion of his humongous web space.
This isn’t only about my plan to move to a new web host. I’ve been, again, on an unprecedented hiatus. I was appointed head of the Multimedia and Designs Committee of the NÜV (an interschool dance and band competition) - one of the activities for our 45th Foundation Day Celebrations. This was enough to deprive me of my free time that I use for blogging. The whole committee and I were busy with pictorials, VTR’s and AVP production (below is the official 30-sec AVP promoting the event). I’ve been in the move lately - literally. The tasks to fulfill are enough to blow-off one’s head. Good thing I’m with a team. This collaboration amazes me.
Application. This idea is the one preoccupying my mind as of the moment. January is a significant event for everyone under the initial formation in our congregation. On the 31st of this month - Feast of our Founder, St. John Bosco - we are to submit the letter which would concretely express how we want to go on with our lives. To apply or not, that is the question.
Movements entail change. In my mind, now, runs, in rapid succession, a series of images - thumbnails of my experiences twined with nuggets of joy, sorrow, confusion, anxiety - sealed with love, understanding, faith, wisdom, happiness and strength. These images I fondly keep - treasure, and review - dwell on - from time to time to seek consolation, to see my self and be in-tune with my inner me.
~
Moving
To move on I must look back.
To look within, I must.
To quell anger’s wrath,
To quench my drought…
To set afire love’s amber,
To grab a glimpse of Thine Light
Thine Goodness -
Thine Wisdom -
Thine Strength -
Within me.
I must look within. To move on.
post-New Year, NFF’s and Me
Christmas greetings and new year’s well wishes weren’t that much compared to what I’ve received last year. Anyway. A question visited me the night before the bangs and glitz of the year’s turn flooded the sky (and so did IM’s popped up and crammed my screen :D): "Why are there so many resolutions made at the turn of the year?"
My contention isn’t about making resolutions. What I’m trying to question is that, why do a lot of people have to do it every "end" of the year? Why not do it as needed? Or has it just become a fad? Just questions, you might want to answer them…
New Found Friends (NFFs)
Kay, Ar, Cee, Em and Dee (not their real names) are my new found friends. They are a group of differently-abled people that I’ve met yesterday during the post-Christmas and post-New Year Get-together program for the PWDs (Persons With Disabilities Different Abilities - not comfortable with the original word) in our parish. I joined the youth ministry who spearheaded the event. While helping in facilitating the activities, I noticed a group of participants who aren’t that participative. I went by and discovered that they are deaf-mutes. There was no one in organizing group who knows sign language. Ergo, they don’t understand what’s happening around. I only have a bit knowledge of their language. Actually, I only know the alphabets, the clap and my name. Nonetheless, I volunteered to be with the - scribbling the important announcements and other audible things that would matter to them.
The questions on their faces were eventually transformed into smiles and cheerful admiration and involvement to everything that is happening around them. That painted a smile in my heart.
This encounter has brought up a new challenge for me to take. I thought of learning the sign language. Why? They are young people. The path were I am now is leading me to a life of service to the poor and marginalized youth. I thought that it would be best if I would be able to communicate with them in their own language. This brings me back to my desire of becoming a missionary. A thought rings to my mind, this might be the chorus of every missionary, it sounds something like this - every one is a missionary and every soul is a mission land. Well, this could be my mission.
Me and Gratitude
Gifts. The Epiphany is near and the thought of telling something about the gifts I received this past holy-days lit-up. I wouldn’t want actually to brag about the gifts I’ve received, rather I would like to thank those who have gone beyond themselves and allotted a space for me in their gift budgets. Among them are my family, Kuya Bong, Ate Fe, my Ate, Ninang Emma (Ninang Eloi you might want to Send Money to the Philippines Online for my aguinaldo, *smiles* just a joke! - I’ll email you soon), and Tita Hilda & her hubby Tito John.
Um, yes, of course, gratitude is also fitting for everyone who has never grown tired of praying for me. Those people who remembered me during the Christmas novena and also those who have been so generous in giving their time just to pause and intercede for me (no matter what day it may be). I might not know each and everyone of you, nonetheless, be assured that you are remembered in every good deed and prayer that I do.
Also, for all those who have been so patient in reading this blog. Thank you so much, I really appreciate the time you spend in my subtle oasis. I hope you find it as such - an oasis of thought and realizations, that is.
…taking care
Taking care. Reading through the lists of lauds written during the retreat of my high school class lead me to a gallery of questions - on spotlight was “am I really this good?” And while undergoing this process of solitude, I was struck by a clear fact - none stated my being caring. I have not been so caring. As a son, as a brother, as a friend. Yes, I’ve done much good, but for whom? For myself! I’ve not been so caring to the point of thinking less of other people. I’ve not been so charitable enough -to my ego, yes; to others, never. Thus, little do I care for myself. Ironic but true.
Taking chances. Risks. The world isn’t binary nor it is pre-programmed. Breaks like what I’m having now slaps FREEDOM on my face. Actually, it hit me hard. RESPONSIBILITY, FOCUS, COMMITMENT and PRUDENCE - all related to choice. Opportunities abound. I had a host of them for the past year. Some of which I was too afraid to take. Yet, I dared to take them. Not all were successful but every risk I took made me a better person.
Giving LOVE. Well, the pure essence of Christmas. Love. I’ve been given a chance to share love to a lot of people - to my family, closest friend most especially to the unloved and less loved.
Happy Christmas and May Everyone Have a BLESSED NEW YEAR!
post-CHRISTMAS post
Call this spur of the moment - an eventuality I wish not to waste. There’s so much I wish to tell. Many things happened for the past days and I have been to a lot of oases - too subtle for others to see, just for me, actually (if you’ve been following me, by now, I hope, you already know what I mean :D).
Taking time. Taking care. Taking chances. Giving love. This has been the theme of my Christmas. Though not a pre-imposed one, rather these were the things that kept me introspective, before, during and a few days after commemorating Christ’s nativity. I had a teary-eyed Christmas.
Taking time. I have a chronic disease related to time. I often waste a lot of time. I’m either idle or too busy working on not so important things. But this is not about me taking much of my time and flushing them down the drain. Not about me wasting time. It’s about relationships. Ties. Bonds. Friendship. Family. This past Christmas taught me the value of time in relationships.
I’ve been forever dreaming of an “almost-perfect” relationship, with my family and friends - less friction, more fun. I just realize that the main culprit for my not so close ties with the people I love is me. I’ve been so thrifty in investing time with them. Doing the otherwise brought a great change within me.
what kept me busy
I have been a bit unplugged lately (except for some Twitter updates via Globe). For the past three days I’ve been away from Manila. My family and I spent Christmas up north. It’s a bit colder there compared to Canlubang. May be due to less pollution and less factories. Anyway, unlike last year, I’ve not been so active this Christmas.
Okay, you might ask, “what happened last Christmas?”, here’s a snippet of it: ~
Last 25th December 2006, my family enjoyed a different kind of menu for the traditional Noche Buena feast. Out with spaghetti, fried chicken, sopas, and macaroni salad, I’ve introduced my favorites. Tuna carbonara, spiced buttered chicken, calamares and ham sandwich filled our dinner table. Yum! I prepared them all… But that was last year. ~
Now, what happened last Christmas? After the midnight mass (Misa de Aguinaldo), I immediately went to bed after sending some greetings via SMS. I woke up at around 8am. I and my family visited our relatives. After lunch I dozed off again. An hour after that “nap” I continued on reading Sionil’s Ermita. Then, I slept again. Woke up at 4pm, took some merienda, showers then off to my sister’s ninang (godmother).
Sleeping, thinking and reading. These three things kept me busy. Sleeping. I’ve slept much since the day I arrived home from the seminary. But tonight, I’ll be trimming a bit on that.
Thinking, more of reflecting. I’ve heard much stories of people around me that made me pause and look within myself. Much of it about structural sin and very related to poverty and the slum culture. The thought of having a job and earning for others dwelled on me. Even thought of availing a resume service. But it didn’t lingered much on my consciousness - I was reminded of the CALL.
Reading. I’ve finished Ermita. Beautiful. Sir Ronan, my first year comm arts teacher, was right afterall - it is a love story. I just hope that Sionil would offer a sequel.
Um, that’s all for now. I haven’t regained my writing skills. Too much cholesterol I suppose. My post-Christmas post (a more introspective post on Christmas) would hopefully be online before midnight.
Happy Christmas, God bless!
