Father Joseph “Joe” Fernandez, SDB, our catechist, shared to me his translation of Psalm 89. He told me that he just found out that it is a song of lamentation - the song of a king that has been defeated in a battle. Psalm 89 is somewhat related to Fr. Manoling Francisco, SJ’s “I will Sing Forever” but unlike the song, this version of the psalm is less jubilant, rather, subtle and deeply emotional.

On reading this psalm, I can’t but be emotional. It evoked the feelings that have been lingering in my heart. It tells, in a profound and an almost exact manner the chorus of my journey toward His call (my name, in place of the pronouns, made it more personal).

Let me now share it with you!

Psalm 89

The Psalm has two parts. We do not always feel consoled. Sometimes we feel God is no more speaking to us or supporting us. We can still continue to pray and to believe.

1 I will sing forever of how greatly you, God have loved me;
I must tell everyone how good you’ve been to me…

2 I will let all know how God’s love never changes,
every star reminds me of how good God is to me…

3 God told me, “I made an agreement when I chose you,
I made a solemn promise to you Jerome my son,

4 “I will be with you forever and ever
and give you such strength so you can help so many”

5 The heavens praise all these wonderful things, O LORD,
In every Eucharist I am reminded of your love and protection.

6 There is no one who can compare with God my LORD?
Can anything in any part of the world compare with His Love?

7 The God who calls me is wiser than all the plans I can make;
he is more wonderful than anything I can imagine.

8 O LORD God Almighty, who is like you?
You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness is my reason to believe.

9 No problem is too great for you;
when difficulties come my way, you help me face them…

10 You crush every evil spirit that disturbs me;
with your strong arm you scatter all my temptations.

11 The heavens are yours, and yours also the earth;
you have made my life and have been part of every moment.

12 You created the north and the south;
Cities and rivers reecho your name…

13 How powerful you are;
How strong your protecting hand that keeps blessing me.

14 You will help me to be good and just;
you will strengthen me in your love.

15 I am blessed because I accept your call,
I will walk in the light of your presence, O LORD.

16 I will rejoice in your name all day long;
I will be happy because you share your holiness with me…

17 For you will make me happy and strong,
and by your help you give me success.

18 Indeed, my defender is the LORD,
I belong to the Holy One of Israel.

19 Once you spoke,
to my family and said:
“I give strength to the one I call;
I have called this young man from his family.

20 I have found Jerome my servant;
Through my call I make him special

21 My hand will help him;
surely my arm will strengthen him.

22 No temptation will defeat him;
no sin will keep him its slave.

23 I will crush temptations before him
and strike down the evils spirits that oppose his vocation…

24 For you will make me happy and strong,
and by your help you give me true success.

25 I will give his arms strength,
his right hand will be firm as he takes decisions.

26 He will call out to me, ‘You are my Father,
my God, the Rock my Savior.’

27 I will treat him as my panganay,
blessed because he is chosen by me.

28 I will love him forever,
and my promise to him will never fail.

29 I will be with him all his life,
the stars are a sign of my promise to him.

30 “If he makes mistakes
and does not follow my directions,

31 if he breaks my commandments
and fails to keep my advice,

32 I will show him his sin,
and help him leave wickedness;

33 but I will not take my love from him,
nor will I ever take back my promise.

34 I will not break my covenant
or change my call to him.

35 Once for all, I the Holy One have promised —
and I will not lie to Jerome –

36 “I will be with you forever and ever
and strengthen you can help so many;

37 You will be peaceful forever like the moon,
the faithful witness in the sky.”

~

38 But Lord, I am sometimes confused
you seem almost angry with me.

39 You have taken back your promise to your servant
I have lost all self-respect.

40 I am without any defenses
and seem to have lost my strength.

41 Every temptation shakes me to the core;
I am laughed at by others.

42 You have let me feel how weak I am;
you have let me taste bitterness in my life.

43 You have allowed me to lose when I thought I was strong
and have not supported me in my struggles…

44 You have not let me succeed any more
and I do not feel anymore respected…

45 I do not feel young and fresh;
I feel ashamed of myself I do not know why…
46 How long, O LORD? Will you hide yourself forever?
How long will you let me suffer in this way?

47 Remember I am only a man.
I feel so empty and purposeless sometimes!

48 Every man faces problems and defeats,
No man can be without moments of darkness.
49 O Lord, what about the love that I once experienced from you,
When you said that you would always support Jerome your friend?

50 Remember, Lord, how small I feel,
how I bear in my heart the failures in my life,

51 the failures and weaknesses of my life, O LORD,
I feel that you have forgotten that you have chosen me…

52 Praise be to the LORD forever!
Amen and Amen.

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